Thursday, February 12, 2015

Ten Unexpected Changes

Let's face it: being a SAHM has some definite perks. But it can also drive you crazy if you let it. These are just a few of the things I've noticed in the first part of my journey:

1. You miss adult conversation. Problem is, I also miss having something interesting to talk about. My husband comes home from work with fun stories. He can tell me what he did that day, or research he's done. Me? What the hell am I supposed to say? How many times someone pooped? That I did dishes and scrubbed a damn toilet?

2. Yoga pants and t-shirts get old. I hate going to the grocery store, but it gives me a reason to put on actual pants. Church day:  pants AND make-up?! Shut the front door!

3. Little things annoy the hell out of you. Because it really feels like little things are all you have. If the baby is fussy for no apparent reason, or won't nap, or you're out of eggs, or you have no idea what you're making for dinner.... It all will absolutely annoy the living snot out of you. Before, it would drive me batty when a kid who had been clean for months would pop positive on a UA, or commit ANOTHER felony, or skip school. It would bother me if my company changed my mileage or a health care law changed how we had to bill... blah, blah, blah.. BIG stuff. And it made the fact that I had to get milk on the way home from work just no big deal. Now, getting milk is a huge pain.

4. You feel like a second class citizen. The military has the affectionate term, "Dependa." Which is short for the "Dependapotumus." Basically, the woman who stalks after military men for their healthcare and BAH (which isn't that great, btw) pop out 10 kids and brags about their guy being of whatever rank. They gain a hundred pounds - after all, they're not the ones that have to stay in shape - and are constantly seen running around base and/or Walmart in stained sweatpants and one of the Hubster's Army/Marines/AF t-shirts.
I don't say that to down military wives, but it's amazing to me how many people react a certain way when you tell them you're a SAHM. Where we live, it feels like I'm constantly lumped into this bunch whether it's true or not.

5. You feel the need to justify what you're doing. I fight constantly this imaginary battle in my head that what I'm doing even matters. When people ask me what I do for a living, it takes everything in me not to say that I'm a college graduate who left a successful career who most years made more than her husband who isn't a total ditz who reads books and has political interests and...and...
 But right now, I'm "just" a mom.

6. You will absolutely feel stuck in the kitchen. I get up, I make breakfast for everyone. I make lunch for everyone. I make dinner for everyone. I do the dishes for everyone. Literally 2/3 of my day consists of doing all of those things listed above. Everyday.

7. Pinterest is both your nemesis and your best friend. Need a dinner idea? Pinterest! Need an idea of something to keep your kiddo entertained for 5 minutes while you're stuck in the f#@*ing kitchen? Pinterest! Need a way to make yourself feel like the World's Crappiest Mom?! Pinterest! My son does not wear matching jammies and play with only homemade, edible paints. He eats plays with his oatmeal and watches Curious George.

8. You may not have any idea what you did all day, but you're exhausted. I'm usually really happy if I get some laundry done. And by done, I mean, in the dryer.

9. You're jealous of anyone who says, "TGIF" like it being Friday has any meaning. Because there is literally NO day off. Ever. If the baby wakes up at 12, 2:30, and 5am, it's YOU and ONLY YOU who gets up with the baby. If someone is going to eat, it's because YOU are going to feed them. If someone needs something washed, mailed, shopped for, cleaned... you guessed it. It's YOUR job.

10. You feel like you can never, ever, ever complain about anything. Ever. Because you're living your dream life, right? You wanted to do this, right?!! Well, yes. But just like the guy who wanted to be a police officer or Army guy or tax accountant gets to complain about his job: there are days as a mom that just SUCK. Problem is, you feel guilty about complaining about anything.

Ok, so I have to know.... What'd I miss? Anything you'd add?!

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