Let's put some cards on the table, shall we?
The amount of guilt that moms carry around is incredible. And, it seems that regardless of what we do, or how we do it, we will feel as though we are doing things wrong.
And then articles like this come out, and we feel even worse. Because now, craving a hot cup of coffee in one sitting, taking a bath without worrying if someone is going to poop in the tub with us, or just having coffee with a friend without little fingers pulling at our every orifice.
Moms. You're doing a good job.
If no one has told you that in a while, hear it from me. You're a good mom.
And it's ok not to want to be around your kids all of the time.
Please hear me, some of us LOVE being with our kids. I absolutely cherish the moments I get with J where he's stacking blocks, or reading the same book 42 times, or pulling pipe cleaners out of a cup. I love getting to rock him to sleep at night, or cuddle with him when he's not feeling well, or just wants to hang on me for no apparent reason.
And still at the end of the day, I will put my son to bed. I will kiss his perfect little head goodnight, and wonder, "did I really do something meaningful with him today? Did he have to play on his own too much because I was doing dishes? Does he know I love him, and he's the most special human boy in the whole wide world?"
A popular article that has flooded Pinterest is now basically stating that "We don't need Mommy will regret every second of not spending time with our kids. I already regret having to spend some time while J is awake doing housework because I took a nap when he napped that morning. I'm sure it will only get worse.
But here's my deal: we will regret something regardless. It's what we do. We will regret not doing enough, saying more, being there. But if we don't take time for ourselves, I'm afraid we will regret something else: being cross when we shouldn't have been because we were exhausted. We will regret snapping at our kids, using harsh words, or not being present with them because we were so empty that we had nothing left to give. We will inevitably beat ourselves up for something.
Moms. If at all possible, it's time we stop apologizing to our imaginary audience that walks around with notepads, and just give ourselves permission to screw up. To admit that at the end of the day, we wanted to do something different than what happened, we wanted to do better, differently, whatever. We need to know that God sees us. Really sees us. Not just what we did wrong, but what we did right. Even God doesn't judge us as hard as we judge ourselves: He's far more forgiving towards us than we could ever be.
So, please, grab a cup of coffee and sit down. Take a nap. Make frozen pizza for dinner and serve it on paper plates, and cut yourselves a break.