Monday, May 18, 2015

Highlight Reel

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.
Galatians 5:25-26 Message translation

I feel like I should post that scripture in every room in my house.

You have more interesting stuff to do than sit around and compare yourself to another human being. If you don't have anything better to do, I have three huge baskets of laundry that won't do themselves, and would love the help.

Yet, there's this thing called Facebook, and something else called Television. And maybe Pinterest.
Or Twitter. Or Instagram. It seems like everyone posts the highlights of their lives, and leave out the messy details. This leaves us with a hugely distorted view of Life on Planet Earth. Everyone has a highlight reel. Everyone has bloopers. We take 10 photos and show 2 of them. And, then, knowing this, we just assume that other people aren't doing the same thing.

I only post about the homemade dinners I make for my family. Not the spaghetti that I make in 20 minutes or less. I post about my son's hilarious new way of spinning around until he gets dizzy; less about how his whining about random things makes me want to leave him at the fire station.

We all do this. Because if we put out there that our baby is crying and we don't know how to fix it, or we're broke and don't know what to do, or we're scared about having another baby, the backlash can be brutal. Even if we're just asking for maybe some prayer and a little sympathy, sympathy often shows up with advice we don't need. I mentioned one time about being nervous having a second child, the first 10 comments basically told me, "well I should have thought of that." It then went to other moms and how overwhelmed they were (thanks for all of that encouragement) how other people had it so much worse, and a few off-handed comments about getting my husband "fixed." Funny, I never thought he was broken.

Motherhood is messy and chaotic, wonderful and exhausting, rewarding and terrifying - all at the same time. It's too easy for me to second-guess myself, even on my best days. But if I truly understand that God's Grace is bigger than myself, then I am subject to not only more mercy than I can handle, but to give out the same amount of mercy to others.

I'm going to say one thing. If you never read this blog again, then please. Please remember this:
There is no scorecard in Motherhood.
There is no scorecard in God's Mercy.
There is only Mercy, Forgiveness, and a New Start.
It feels only natural that we chalk up our winnings, our shortcomings, our "big deals" and our sacrifices like they mean something. In truth, we are NEVER judged by our successes. If we were, we'd have to also be judged by our failures: something that scares the hell out of me.

And if we aren't judged by our highlight reel, it's probably best not to judge someone else off of theirs.

Get some coffee and some chocolate. And take a nap, Mommas.

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