[What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living!
But as for me, I will hope continually,
And will praise You yet more and more.
15 My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness
And of Your salvation all day long;
For I do not know the sum of them.
16 I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord God;
I will make mention of Your righteousness, Yours alone.
Sometimes I think the biggest challenge with being a SAHM is knowing that I really don't make any money. True, the advertisements you click on help support the blog (thanks for that, btw) but it's not like this is my full-time profession. Being a mom is exhausting, emotionally draining, thankless, wonderful, fulfilling, hilarious, and awesome; but the pay sucks. We took this step of faith six months ago, and I have to say it's been wonderfully terrifying.
It's been a cause for adventure; in budget, in marriage, in time management, and with creative problem-solving.
It's been the best thing for my prayer-life in years.
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. Every day we wake up, and before our feet even hit the floor, our minds are filled with what needs to be done, what needs to be readied, what needs to be cleaned, cooked, changed, wiped, and laundried. We are constantly wondering if we're doing enough - double that mantra if a kiddo is sick! If there's something else we could be teaching them, or bringing them new experiences and adventures, or if the house was just a bit cleaner, or dinner was more... I don't know... Dinner-y? Special?
For those of us who didn't really have the best maternal influences growing up, it's a case of Holy Spirit Parenting 101. We've no example to rely on, but we have something so sweet; the voice of the one who knows our children best. For those that had amazing examples of what a godly wife and mother look like, I can imagine there's pressure there also. You want to be wonderful just like your mother. You want to give your child the same awesomeness that your mother gave you.
In the busy-ness of being a mom, I forget so much. I forget just how good He is. Just how good life good the promises are for such a good future. I truly do see the Goodness of God in the land of the living. How dare I lose hope?
Being a SAHM has one random advantage: daytime television. Seriously. All I have to do is watch an hour or so of Dr. Phil, and wow... all of a sudden, my life seems so... awesome... normal... awesomely normal. One day, Hubster was having a rough day; people were calling, bills were mounting, monsters from our past were out in full force... He was so tired. Not just physically tired, but just drained from slaying dragons all day. He texted me, weary...
Problem was... I was on bedrest that morning forcing fluids, and had watched more TV than I should have. He's all worried about stuff, and I'm like, "Are you gay? Are we both having affairs? Do either of us have a drug problem? Are we having some massive fight I don't know about?" No? Then, we're fine. Our children are healthy; we're so in love we're making people sick, and I'm making tacos for dinner: whatever else there is, we'll be fine.
It's good. It's not perfect. But it's good. It's just so good.
I forget that. I forget how good it is. In the midst of the notsogood, in the midst of needing miracles, planning for change, and... stuff, we forget... we forget how much hope we really have. We forget how much we really don't need.
It's just so good. Good like a sunrise; sweet like the rain; peaceful as giggles under the covers, clean jammies, and early morning play. It's good.
Have hope, mommas. And coffee. Hope and coffee go well together.