But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God.
Acts 20:24 (NASB)
Read this this morning, and something my amazing pastor always quoted to us as youth leaders.
"The only Biblical reference to youth (or children's) pastors, are Moms and Dads."As a youth leader, it made sense. I was there to lift up the arms of the parents who were trying to raise teenagers. Honestly, it took some of the pressure off. I could just love on kids, speak life into them, feed them sugar, and send them on their merry way. Simple enough.
But now, I'm the parent. Holy crap, how did that happen?
It hit me today, that becoming a Mom didn't mean I wasn't "in ministry" anymore - something I was happy to admit. I've never felt called to be a pastor, or a teacher, or any of that. I'm so unbelievably fine with that, it's not even funny. I love being a volunteer. I love loving on kiddos that may not get the best of life at home. I also love sending them HOME. The whole 24-7, being on-call, always having to watch out for someone else, watching what you say all the time, people expecting you to be perfect.... yeah, I could skip... oh crap....
Being a Mom is literally the same thing.
Being a parent doesn't mean I don't have a ministry; it just means my 'flock' is a smaller one. My son
watches how I do things. He's at the age where he'll mimic anything he sees, repeats anything he hears - verbatim. How many in a church congregation would do that? Hear a pastor speak, and then immediately act out the sermon?
My husband still needs me to be his wife: something I've sort of sucked at the last few days. Normally I get up with him, and we have some moments of sanity before Jminator takes over. I've done none of that, and admittedly, Hubster understands. But I know he loves that. I love that. I love that before he leaves to slay dragons all day, he knows I'm with him. Or at least behind him.
Right now, I'm just behind.
Right now, my circle of influence feels so small, that some days it feels like a hula hoop; fun for one person, disaster for more than that. And, honestly, most days, as much as I fail and screw up, I'm thankful my sphere isn't bigger. But God reminds me daily; while His mercies are new every single second I need them, my actions do affect my family. Just in the same way that if a king in the Old Testament, or a pastor in the New was blowing it, it would affect the people as a whole.
In the same way, how I do things for my family is just as important as doing them. My attitude - good or bad - can set the tone for the entire day. If that's not a position of ministry, then I'm not sure what is.
Good thing about pastors; they drink coffee. I've got that down.