Sunday, May 24, 2015

What is a Mother Worth?

 Are not two little sparrows sold for a penny? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s leave (consent) and notice.
30 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31 Fear not, then; you are of more value than many sparrows.
 Matthew 10:29-31(AMP)

A recent article has surfaced about a population of women who are receiving "Wife Bonuses" from their husbands. Much of this is written into a detailed pre-nuptial agreement. The article states that many of these women have at least a master's degree, yet have chosen to raise their children instead of working full time. These ladies also chair committees, raise millions of dollars for charity, volunteer and are heavily involved in their children's schools. They manage the finances, run the household, etc. But they insist that their husbands basically pay them for their services, including bonuses, like any regular company would provide.

So... Um.... Man, I got nothin'... But it raises some interesting questions, doesn't it?

Hubster and I had a fairly lengthy conversation about this. He raised some interesting points. If I any vocation. That's not even legal, let alone a good idea. If my husband is also my employer, then he alone gets to decide what exactly is in my job description, and could change the criteria for "outstanding performance" at a moment's notice.
receive wages from him, do I become merely an employee? If I am, then the idea of being on-call 24hrs a day, 7 days a week. No days off. Ever. Is not a selling point for

But what price do you put on this stuff?

What price do you put on getting up every hour on the hour to clean up vomit, change a diaper, feed a hungry baby, comfort a child who has had a bad dream, or simply just rock, comfort, and love on a baby who doesn't know themselves what's wrong? Is that overtime? Comp time? Or is it simply "part of the job"? What price do you put on someone who has literally grown an organ and a human, given birth, and then feeds on demand a child that you both have decided to create? Does that have monetary value?

Which begs the question: Does something have to have a monetary value to be valuable? 

Other than the actual, physical cost of having a child, do we put a monetary value on actually being a parent? Of being the one person that a child will run to, cry to, yell for, and need? As someone who spent years praying, longing, and crying to God for a miracle to fill an empty womb, I would have given any amount of money if that would guarantee an answer to prayer.

Problem was: there is no price for a miracle. There will never be a price for a miracle.

Is there a price on choosing a new identity? Of leaving the world that you know, and jumping into the unknown that is parenthood?

Yet, we long to be appreciated. It melts my heart to see my son devour a dinner that I've made. It feels great when Hubster says, "Thank you" for something. But let's face it, if you absolutely must have constant appreciation and praise..... you should probably rethink going into the parenthood business.

Is that what the "bonuses" are for? A way to say to a mother with 2 advanced degrees that what she is doing on the living room rug is just as important as what she did in the boardroom. Does receiving a bonus reaffirm who she is as a wife; that her husband really sees her and notices the sacrifice, the dedication that it takes to be a mother? Or is it simply compensation for doing a hard job?

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this one. For now, Mommas, please know that YOU have value. You are valuable; to your family; to your Savior; to the world.

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