Is not life more than food? Or the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25bSometimes, the scariest thing ever is admitting that we can't do something, and we need help.
I need you to take this post with a grain of salt. I'm not a doctor. I'm not an expert on your life any more than you are an expert on mine. But let me tell you what: I've done this recovery thing for almost 10 years. Have I been everywhere and done it all? Fortunately, no. This isn't meant to replace medical advice or treatment. But it is designed to make you think.
This is a post about eating disorders. Now, if I read you right, you probably thought something like this:
In reality, eating disorders don't have a specific "look"
My point today, though... isn't any one specific disorder, but the health of our Mommies. All of us.
Mommies, has dieting and food and exercise and "being healthy" actually become a trap? The Bible actually uses the term "idol" for things that take the place of God. I'm here to tell you, the thoughts of an ED are a slippery and dangerous slope. Much like how worry and anxiety can slowly steal your joy, being preoccupied with your diet may slowly eat away at your health.
This isn't an exhaustive list, but just a list of some of the things you may want to watch before things get out of hand. Because, believe me, they will if you don't put a stop to them.
Feeling as though you need to "earn" food.
Sounds like you're trying to be healthy, right? No.I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "I'm getting a ___ (pizza, sundae,etc) I've earned it." When you view food as a paycheck that you have to "earn" that has some serious emotional consequences. You don't earn nachos. You don't earn a burger. You don't have to be "good" now in order to be "bad" later.
A majority of your day is consumed with food
What you're going to eat that day, how much you're going to eat, what you're NOT going to eat, where you're going to eat.... I've got news for you: food isn't supposed to be stressful. Normal people don't just talk about what they ate all day long.
Having a nervous habit on purpose.
We all know the foot shaker, the knee bouncer, or the perpetual swayer. But I've seen many a lady actually do all of this on purpose because they think it burns calories. Also, super annoying.
Happiness becomes directly proportional to the number on a scale.
If you've lost a few pounds, then you're feeling pretty good about yourself. If you've gained, then no one else is allowed to have a good day.
Weighing yourself multiple times a week or day.
Once a week is enough. Once a day is unnecessary. More than that is excessive, and it can really mess with you.
Feeling "dirty" after eating certain foods.
Carb isn't a four-letter word. You need them. Your body needs them. Fats aren't pure unregulated evil. Your body needs them. Sugars aren't Satan's cocaine. Your body needs them. Unless you're eating cookies made from battery acid, and flushing them down with motor oil, your body isn't poisoned by what you're eating.
If your diet is so restrictive that it's impossible to follow for more than a month at a time, then your diet is TOO restrictive. Juice cleanses, juice fasts, and other "detoxes" are dangerous. Most of them aren't based on much other than someone wants to make money. Putting stress on organs that are constantly being subjected to excessive fatty foods, then fasting, then detoxing is asking for organ failure. This is a cycle that WILL KILL YOU.
Eating certain foods bring you anxiety.
It actually causes anxiety for you to eat certain foods, regardless of what they are. Food shouldn't come with "rules" to eat by. For example, I really had to get over just eating carbs by themselves. If I had waffles, I HAD to have strawberries. Because, in my warped mind, the strawberries "cancelled out" the waffles.
You post pictures of bodies you want to be like, or otherwise known as "Thinspiration"
This is dangerous, DANGEROUS territory. This is very pro-ana, pro-bulimia stuff and it can only lead you down a deadly path. Please, if you're looking for inspiration, start reading your Bible and find out who God says you are.
Like I said at the beginning, I'm not a doctor. But after ten years of working with those with these disorders and being in recovery myself from an ED, I can tell you I know it when I see it. I see this stuff everywhere, and it can be a huge trigger to scarier things.
Mommies... Please listen to what I'm about to say... Please?
There is a way out of this.
But you have to ask for help.
The Super-Mom who hides food, binges and purges, and secretly hates herself.
The Super-Mom who is always on a diet, even though the numbers on the scale only keep rising.
The Super-Mom who makes sure her kids are fed, but makes sure she is always "too busy" to eat sitting down
The Super-Mom who makes sure that everything looks perfect before leaving the house - regardless of how you feel or what your kids are doing.
It's time to take off your cape and come clean, Momma.