Friday, April 28, 2017

What I Wish For You

To Every New Mom, 

I pray that you understand that you were selected to be this baby's mother. From the beginning of time, both of you were handpicked to be together. You will know this child from the inside out. If you follow your instincts, God will give you what you need to care for this child. You'll know if he's hurting, or scared, or just needs you. Trust yourself.

Fear is normal. It'll make you feel crazy at times. And, to be honest, a little bit of that crazy is yours forever. Mom's worry; it's what we do. The trick is to, again, listen to your instincts and friends that you really, really trust to guide you. Children are remarkably terrifying in every wonderful way possible. 

Don't EVER let anyone or anything tell you that you're not good enough or that this child would be better off without you. Postpartum depression is REAL. IT IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS. It's hard. It's SO very, very hard. But it will get better. And if it doesn't get better, then get professional help. 

You really will sleep again eventually. Just like they'll move out of the house eventually.

You'll never feel the same way about your body after giving birth to a child. Your body grew that body: just think about that for a second. You grew a human. After stretch marks, sagging skin, it may be tempting to feel bad about your body. Don't. Remember what it did, and be proud of your body. 

There will inevitably be days where you just feel like you're failing. The dreaded Mom Guilt sets it. You'll see people that have more money, or time, or they work or don't work, or they go on vacation, or save more money, or they have a nicer ____. None of these things are a gauge on how much we love our children. You're not a better mom if you spent less or more. You're not a better mom if you cook at home or eat out. You're not a better mom if you stay at home or work. You're a better mom because you're doing your best for your child. 

You'll never regret extra cuddles. Even at 1am, 1:45am, 2:55am, 4:10am, or noon. 

You'll never regret getting an extra hour of sleep either, so use your best judgement on this. 

Give yourself permission to make some mistakes. Then give your partner the same permission. You're in this together. You'll do things differently, but neither of you is wrong. You both love this baby: let the other ones that love this baby love differently. 

Know that everyone around you, especially me, is cheering you on. We'll be here for you when you need us. And we love you, 

Welcome to motherhood, sister. We got your back. 

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